A desi heart in Pardes and her educational journey in the U.S.!
My very first day at the University, in a snowstorm, But had little hope in my heart!
For a long time, I have been planning to start writing about my educational journey in the U.S. Well, it is a lot to go through the flashback and describe it in words.
So If I want to talk about a little background of my past educational journey, I started doing my bachelor's when I was in Bangladesh, In a University which was located in my city named Sylhet. But I always wanted to study at North South University which was located in the capital city Dhaka. From choosing my major (bachelor's in business administration) to choosing the University, everything was influenced by someone significant. Can’t name him but Life was dreamlike at that time. Despite I was a science student, I chose to study business.
a) It was a fresh and new subject back then
b) So that I can multitask. I was highly active in extracurricular activities.
c) That someone told me, to challenge myself and try something different. Everyone else is becoming doctors and engineers. (My only sibling is a doctor, so everyone was expecting me to become an engineer) I was never interested.
Fast forward to the story, I came to the U.S. had zero clue what am I going to do with my life. I got married in the decision of a week. I came here in a month. I was lost. My husband was doing his residency (He is a doctor now) but was an intern then. It was a tough time. His profession was so demanding, that barely anyone cared what I need. Can’t blame them. That tough moment actually taught me why prioritizing yourself is so crucial.
After all the hardship, when he became a doctor, I didn’t have any work permit. It was a hell of a lonely time. No family support, luckily made some amazing friends who came from all different parts of the world but all of our souls were connected. We started taking some language courses. A lot of people made fun of it but as Our educational system in Bangladesh was more influenced by the British curriculum, I wanted to learn authentic American expressions and language and know more about their culture. Eventually, it helped me down the line as I didn’t have any preparation for TOEFL or IELTS. And I never did them ever!
Now let me tell you about some of my personal feelings! If I tell you about my confidence, it was at zero level or maybe negative. I assumed I can’t finish my study. I will be remaining as a dropout. Don’t get me wrong, You can make a mark despite having a degree. But to some extent it’s necessary. At least for me. I have a lot of Sagittarius placements, I need higher education. That’s my pride! Haha.
A lot of people said I can’t transfer from a private university, They told me why do you want to study business, If you are not a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer, you are nothing but a failure. All those affected me mentally and emotionally. The year gap, studying with students who are pure Americans, with all the cultural differences, with all the previous setbacks and I can’t do it, I am not worthy enough attitude made it even harder. I chose business only because I wanted to finish my studies as early as possible. In my last year, I decided to do a double major In business administration and small business development.
The First day I went to University, I didn’t know anything. That was actually a day off because of a snowstorm. I will start something and it won’t shake the town, can’t happen. A police officer helped me that day to reach home. Because everything was closed and I was the only student present there! I wasn’t used to taking uber, I didn’t know how would I manage alone. But that day I reminded myself that it will change. One day I will laugh about it and write it down in my blog! And here I am.
I had a corner in my Common Room, I used to do assignments there, always used to drink a Starbucks coffee ad that’s it. One day I tried to eat in the canteen, but it was a mess. Some of them were mean as I was the only brown. We had a few more I guess but not many. I used to feel like an alien. But I never lost hope. I cried but never gave up. I had to overcome all my fears.
One day in class, one of my professors asked me, what’s my favorite food. I said Biriyani. She was at a loss for words and didn’t know what it is. Then I decided to Hide my Desi side and when been asked in my accounting class the same question, I said panini or something American but my professor gave me a look and said! Are you serious?? You don’t like samosas?? I love them! I was in an identity crisis at that time managing so many differences around and adjusting to it.
After all the bitter-sweet experiences, I loved the whole experience. There were more good parts than bad. It was expensive. It was challenging. But It was worth it. In my opinion, however people say you don’t need a degree, get one if it’s not a life-death situation. You’ll feel more accomplished. You can always continue to self educate and learn more. But don’t regret ever that you could have achieved it.
Nevertheless, After working with several companies (businesses), I have finally started my small business. It’s still a lot small. But It feels good that I have something I can call my own.